*Cupid's illusion; Constant confusion*

Just me.

I'm pretty much tired right now. Again another sleepless night. Waking up at 5am to realise your alarm clock has re-positioned itself is scary. I wonder how many times did I wake up to check on the time.

So, I woke up this morning with both my eyes swollen like they have been tearing the whole night. But I don't remember crying over anything.

Something is bothering me.

And no, it's not insomnia.

Maybe I'm tiring myself too much because of my over paranoia self. I lie down, try to close my eyes, and my mind refuses to shut. Thoughts of this issue, that past incident, next future happenings keep replaying over and over again in that neuron-filled tofu matter of mine. It's bloody sickening.

Am I the only 22 year old suffering from senior citizens health ailment? I hope not.

It's very unhealthy this insomnia shit. Is it due to my diet? Getting too fat? Not enough exercise? But hell, I've been eating well(OK maybe not very well, but still.) and have been doing simple workouts at home like light skipping. Or maybe my unhealthy body is adjusting itself to healthier months ahead. Aiyah, I don't know lah. (Note the irony here. I'm worrying again. arghh.)

Let me rant. Thanks.

I'm uber sick of waking up early in the morning to report to work. I hate the working life. I hate the morning madness. I hate thinking of piles of paper work and sending endless emails and writing reports and at the end of the day, I learnt - NOTHING. I don't want to work anymore.

10 years down the road,I don't want to think back on my unaccomplished dreams and go "Damn, if only I had..." I don't wish to regret. But it's not easy to just push aside everything and heed on with your dreams. Dreams are selfish and pumped with ego-filled ambitions. They are only but bubbles of wishful thinking to keep you going on in your damned,pathetic-slogging life. But reality needs dreams. Without dreams, there wouldn't be people striving so hard to reach to the top.

I have dreams. I dream alot.

Maybe I should drop back to reality and start filtering my 1001 dreams. I need baby steps... I need to set a short-term goal. I need to induce myself with motivation and start banishing my ol' bad habits.

Darn, I need a new me.

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"
- Sir Winston Churchill