On the brink of cerebellum disarray

It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
with or without you...

All that I do
Is not enough for you
I don't wanna lose it
But I'm not like that
When finally you get to love
Guess what?

Mars Vs Venus

And why was i a super happy girl?

I was close to desparation thinking of places to hold a birthday party. The initial plan was to hold it at the usual place - chalet. But, I totally forgot to make a reservation before the peak period. AND everywhere is FULLY BOOKED!!! Me and lei were searching through all the available slots at the costa sands official webby but to no avail... we even thought of hold it at aranda country club and SAF changi chalet. Fret not! Luck's on our side =D I was still thinking of different venues and it just hit me to re-check the webby. I bet there were cancellations! Rang lei up and told her to book through her company(cheap cheap!) immediately. *cross fingers* Balloting results will be out on the 6th! Kaibin and Kevin you both better pray hard there are slots if not I'm gonna celebrate your birthday at MacDonalds. We can have fries and green tea.hah.

Met up with lei for dinner yesterday. Girlie talks about guys and their un-deflated ego. Big apology to the male counterparts on this issue. But seriously, on a certain context, it's quite true. Guys of our age are still thinking of bumming around... not willing to find a job...and the best part? Some even own their own bike yet have no cash to buy their own cigarettes and food. How ironic. GUYS!!! You all should wake up your bloody idea!! You tell a girl you love her, you say you'll make her happy and give her a good life, but what makes you think you are able to if you can't even survive on your own? Call me traditional, but I still feel that the men should be the rightful person to bring home the bacon. I believe in equality of the sexes, and yes it doesn't mean that we women sit around at home and be a tai-tai.

I've heard this from many guy friends around me. They say that Singaporean girls are getting way too choosy and materialistic and have high expectations on looks. To a certain extend, I would agree on that. 5 years ago, us girls might be just looking around for some cute nerd. Engage in cutesy puppy love in secondary school and get all excited telling everyone in your girl clique that you have a "stead" and you will 1314(forever in pager codes) love your "stead". Ongoing to 22 now, we are searching for the right one, someone who is intellectual, street-smart, looks are secondary, someone who'll make us laugh and cry, someone who understands Love not in just the primary meaning but go beyond saying 'I love you' and learn the responsibility behind this universal love language.

Now now, are we asking for too much?

Oh yes,

And thanks for all the tags. I know he's lovely.



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BUT!

He's mine solely (damn,bitchy diana.)

*bleah*





one more day to go
complete my heart and my soul
give me a hug and a kiss
let me feel again this sweet bliss

YAY

Thanks to lei, I am one freaking happy girl for now.

*cross fingers*

I hope the bidding will be sucessful. =)

That silly him.

I logged on to gmail and was surprised to receive an email from that silly him.

Tickled my abs(yup I did abs work out last night so now it hurts). That email made me grin from ear to ear.

Was feeling rather paranoid about him at his orientation camp. I mean, who wouldn't? The camp has 130 freshies or so I heard and out of that 130, 100 are girls. 100 girls! boo. And the 4th night, they actually booked butterfactory for their NUS bash. I'm still very much tempted to go "spy" on him. But how the heck am I gonna crash in the club? On a second thought, maybe not.

Back to the email, silly him sent me a timeline with details on what he did at the camp.

He gave up his very precious sleep just to send me this email.

=)

What if I...

I was watching the last episode of that channel 8's drama starring Joanne Peh. Anyway, the show is about children finding new meaning in their lives and learn how to be happy despite their disabilities. Imagine. How many of us actually sat down and thought how blissful our lives are?

Well I did.

I'm always complaining about everything. From the weather... to my job... to my school assignment... to my lack of confidence... my thunder thighs... to my "hard" life. I'm always ranting about how pathetic i feel at times.

I don't come from a wealthy family. And yes, staying in a double storey flat doesn't mean I'm rich. I'm not rich. I'm always out of cash. My decision to leave the polytechnic 4 years back caused unhappiness among my parents and they refuse to pay for my private school diploma. So I had to depend on myself. I worked for almost a year, trying to save up for the course I always wanted to be in. I was only 19 then. I kept procrastinating saving up, spending my hard-earned cash on endless and redundant shopping trips. Friends around me that time were graduating from their polytechnics and some even entered the local unis. And what am I? NOTHING. I'm just a drop out holding on to a lousy piece of o-level cert.Even my best friend was in Aussie doing her degree. It took me quite long to get to my senses. I was then working at Queenstown polyclinic and was so envy of the dentists working there. Young and so full of life and a bright future ahead of them. I began to save up for my studies... worked my ass off. Juggling the morning job and part time waitress-ing at night to earn as much cash as I can.

And I saved $1000 after all the hardwork and no shopping. I have to thank my mum for persuading my dad to help me pay in advance using credit for my school fees. I still had to continue working and paying off the remaining school fees by myself. I manage to get myself enrolled in MDIS and start studying. =)

And now, after all the ups and downs, I'm earning a grad dip salary and am about to complete my diploma. Soon, i'll go on to my advance dip which I hope I can complete by next June. By end of next year, I would be taking my full-time degree. I fared quite ok in my exams. Getting B's at least. At times, I really hate my parents for not sponsering my studies... why must I be the one earning myself? Why can't I enjoy school life like everyone else? It's no joke juggling both work and school. I do get bogged down by stress and cry myself to sleep. It hurts at times. I really envy those whose parents can afford their overseas studies and support them financially.They can enjoy their campus life, study, play without worrying if they might have enough cash to survive on for the next month.But then again, how many are greatful to their parents?

I shall try not to complain about my life so much. Sometimes, you really don't know how fortunate you are.

Welcome to my life
I was dead but I'm back alive
Maybe it ain't that bad after all
Have you heard of a rainbow after a fall?

Scamps

Okay.

It's gonna be 5 gruelling days without you.

Something's on my mind right now but I seriously don't know what is it.

**

Your guitar left alone,
No voice, no strums,no tone
Play it again;
Keep me breathing and sane.

Greetings.

I seriously still do not know if it's a good idea re-blogging(is there such a word?)

But still,

HELLO TO YOU ALL!!!

Alright,please drop me a tag and say hi. Would love to know if my friends are still around after my disappearance. Oh yes and leave ur blog links as well so I can link you guys. I might be blog hopping and telling a few of my updated blog address though.

I gotta run.

At the beginning of a complicated ending.

Finally.

After ample forethought, I decide to "silently" bounce back into the overcommercialised blogsphere.

5 reasons why I wanted to blog again :

1. I need to improve my english language. (Cliché)
2. Friends have been asking about the disappearance of my old blog.
3. A place to fuss over my unhappiness isn't that bad after all.
4. I have a thousand questions and maybe someone out there can give me answers.
5. I seriously can't think of number 5?

*sidetrack* I'm currently trying to choose a simple blogskin from blogskins.com while my personal blogskin is in the making.

On why this blog name, it somehow represent me in a way. I have an illogical habit of always having two straws when I drink. It's so ME that close friends would actually go to the extend of taking an extra straw whenever they buy drinks for me. I feel weird drinking without two straws. It's like curry to your prata, vinegar to your loh mee. Oh well. And why 25%? haha. It's a long story. Maybe next time. =)

And I'll try ending off each of my post with a short *ahem*senseless*ahem* poem.

A short poem it shall be;
I write for thee.
At the beginning,
of my complicated ending.