*Cupid's illusion; Constant confusion*

It's You or Is It You?

I'm having a slight controversy going on in my mind regarding the blog title aka title of two songs.

Ok. It's confusing. I'll explain that later.

*
So, earlier over dinner ..

My mum said I'm fat and fugly(yup she uses the f* word on me)now because I don't have a boyfriend.

Now what's that supposed to mean?

That I've only got chio-ness when I am attached?

Fuck, I hate to admit it. But it's so damn true. I know me, I know my own body and I rate my level of self esteem.

I feel sOOooooOOoo SUPER DUPER UNATTRACTIVE which means if I step into Phuture now, I swear everyone on the dance floor will just stop grooving and proceed to puke out their leftover char kway teow+whiskey green tea mixture and that will seriously cause clumsy me to fall right smack down on my fat ass with a LOUD POM and then heaps and mountains of heinous laughter will obviously overthrow Rihanna's Please Don't Stop The Music.

How bloody awesome.

*CLAPS*

**

Anyways, remember I was saying about both 'It's You' being a confusion?

It's You by Ryan Cabrera
Is it You by Cassie

Two totally different songs (duh) and two totally different meanings (duh duh).

One represents my memorable past; the other-a dedication for my future.

I *heart* both because both songs combine makes the PRESENT me.




The time is slow and I am sinking
Into a hole blackened with lies
And though I made it myself
You stand watching as my life passes me by
- It's You by Ryan Cabrera





I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you
-Is It You by Cassie

**

I remembered asking him before,

"When everything falls down, will you hold my hand?"

As expected, I know I will never get any answer.

And, at that time I'd rather not because like they say, the truth always sucks.

Sometimes I wonder, did I accidentally let go of the hand that i think fits me oh-so-perfectly, or did the hand initially not fit me at all. Then in the first place, why would I want to hold on to that hand so freaking tightly like my life depends on it only to allow that same hand to cruelly let go of mine in the end?

Why?

Shitty-fied. I know. Yes. Screw me and my emo-self.

I cannot help it when almost everyone around me basks around in glowing sweet love and blessed kisses.

Call it Envy. Call it pure Admiration. Call it everything but the greenish-eyed bitch whinning over here.

For I am not.

One day, I will find the hand that fits perfectly, the hand that will walk me into sunset boulevard, the hand that will pluck the biggest star, the hand that'll wipe away my tears and tease me to laughters, the hand that will catch me when i fall, the hand that will never let me go for anything in the world, the hand that will slip in a lovely ring with commitments, the hand that will hold on to a vid cam when I'm on the delivery bed, the hand that will tuck our little one to sleep and the hand that will dearly hold on to mine till we're good ol' 70.

Trust me on that. =)