random thoughts

ok I admit.

I'm gonna be bored during the weekends. no no. Not that I have no friends to hang out with or whatsoever. But what can we do? Watch movie? nah. Too packed. The usual makan+chilling out? nope. BORING. East Coast cycling? grrrr. Rain how?

see? The downside of being a Singaporean. Your life is mundane to the ultimate. Either you are at the office working your ass off, mugging with cries of unwillingness, or just practically slacking around doing nothing.

Yes. The life of a 22 yr old. Me.

It has since come to a point where the ironically overused word - LOVE starts to irritate the shit out of me.

I love you and you love me. But does it come right from the depths of that red pumping thing? How many times have you said 'I love you' to someone just for the sake of saying because you are in a lovey-dovey relationship or is it because you truly love that person.

So you would be asking. What's love?

Love is when we're beside each other, not having anything to say, but the moment can be perfect.
Love is when he kiss me on my cheek and tell me I'm pretty.
Love is about giving in, trust, commitment.
Love is when our lips touch and there are like a million freaking butterflies flying in our stomachs and in the air.
Love is when he closes his eyes, falling asleep just right beside you and all you do is just watch him sleep.
Love is about sacrifices.
Love is about waiting for the right moment.
Love is when she says 'You're the best thing that ever happen in my life'.

Love here. Love there. ya ya ya. Love is in the air~~

The list can go on ya. Well, I gathered abit about this "gruesome" four letter word from friends around me.

Almost everyone said the same thing. Who doesn't like the lovey-dovey part of a relationship where you both belong in your own tiny little heart-shaped world? But what's hard after that? The maintaining part. It gets tiring and boring and will be cocked-up with lots of obstacles that you did not forsee in the start of the honeymoon period. And the sms-es becomes like an everyday thing. The calling of sweet names becomes a formality. Meet-ups becomes lesser because everyone has this stupid thinking of 'Absence makes the heart grows fonder'. I choose to half-believe. When you are in love, all you want to do is to see the other party everyday. RIGHT? Even for 5 freaking minutes. But as time goes by and you both feel that you need personal space, not meeting up becomes a norm.

You know the story. The plot. The details. The beginning and the ending. So why do we humans STILL engage in this staged play?

"Love is like a playground."

You step into a playground when you are happy or sad. You start exploring the playground. You see different people there. Somtimes you play with them, sometimes you find someone special, and you both start on a journey of "conquering" the playground. At the playground,there are swings, there are long slides and there are monkey bars.

You sit on the swing, you feel the breeze, the calmness. It's like in love where everything seems to be so stable with the occasional ups and downs but you are still stuck to the seat and loving every moment of that tranquility.

You play the slide. You try so hard to climb up to the top knowing that you'll still go down in the end. You try again and again. And you'll get tired of climbing, tired of going down. Tired of the ups and downs and finally you give up climbing. Just like in love, you go all out for the other party, knowing that he/she might just push you aside and when that happens, your feelings start to "slide" away until you don't feel like climbing anymore.

You try the monkey bar. With every grasp, your hand might already be filled with blisters. But you persist. You fall down with a thud on the floor but you still stand up and climb again not knowing that the blisters on your hands are not healed. Like in love. You fall in love, you get hurt but you might not be completely healed but yet you fall in love again. And each time you feel that the hurt gets deeper and deeper. But what's ironic? You still want to climb the bloody monkey bar with all the blisters on your hands.

So what's in store at the end?

- to be continued -

p/s: I didn't write this because I am out of love or am any sort jealous of anyone who is in love. Yup. It's just how I feel at this point of time in my life.